tenebraecious (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenebraecious) wrote2019-12-18 04:29 pm
tenebraecious) wrote2019-12-18 04:29 pm
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Awwright, I'm in the mood for a ~question meme~ for Glacies and John Doe! Let's go back and forth until we're exhausted from words. I will also accept thread planning and CR plotting, because I've been remiss on that front, oops.
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So, John with emotions is handled heavily in canon. When Jack speaks about Will Graham dealing with massive amounts of fear, he is on the money. The money just happens to be Will fearing who he is and fearing what his abilities says about his own psychology. His emotions are to be kept far from other people for fear of contaminating and staining others. Even when he does share his emotions, he's also swallowing a bitter pill with it, thinking that this action or gesture will be something to be abused later. —He's scared of hurting other people, scared he could easily hurt other people.
When he leans into Nice John it is him leaning into his psychopathy without that fear, he has a level of trust in his self. If he is going to do something awful, then so be it, but he also trusts that he has put enough road blocks in, mastered his self enough not to be beholden to the whims of an innate self that may desire violence or pain for whatever reason, whatever feeble justification. It's telling that this shift somehow leads to him getting married and being willing to be a paternal figure to a child when he struggled with the concept before; he's a little more likely to throw things to the wind, go along with it, even if it is ultimately unwise. It's not his best hour, but there is something to be said about the fact that he had Hannibal on his shoulder waiting . . . And, well, his decision in understanding that he could not shake him was to go off a cliff. But the stakes aren't nearly that high in Imeeji, so he can use it. John knows he can get behind it and drive it, and be a master of himself and those around him if he just allows it.
Gosh, the feeling of John treating Amaranth as unequal or lesser is kind of interesting, because he would not show as much heat or anger to anyone else. When it comes to the 'kids' of LiliS, that he does treat differently absolutely but not as if they aren't fully capable people on their own, he is a little more willing to wipe away himself. The interaction is not centered on what he has to gain or learn from it, but what they can take from it, so he doesn't include himself in it aside from presenting the self or aspect they are struggling with. When he interacts with Amaranth, he holds onto himself. He knows she wants to be respected, so he doesn't drop down to the level of shifting face that strongly, only modulating his emotional responses because he can't mange to be level with her and also be fully in his own emotions . . . Which still are dangerous, you know . . . I've found it funny, how he doesn't read her and present accordingly fully because he could, and there's largely two reasons to it: 1. She would spot it from a mile off. The kids let him get away with it, because he has his airs about him, and they take what they get, not ask for what they want; and 2. He is affording her that experience. From first meet, he did feel some measure of respect towards her, and he's holding desperately onto that. If she didn't want resistance and push back, then she should have been something else from the start. But he's not going to spit in her face, pretending he can be something so different from his true self and she will be none the wiser to it.
Man, once upon a time, you said Amaranth should be Jack to John, and I'm still so confounded by that. Jack had a moral compass that was impossible to argue with. Jack saw that Will was struggling and told him to put up and shut up while not sharing his own concerns. There's a reason why Will has been ready to betray Jack at multiple times in the series; it's because Jack doesn't understand what Will needs and keeps failing to respond to that while still appealing to his better self. Between Hannibal and Jack, there's no grey, only black and white. And Will/John exists best in that grey area. He is a man with love for monsters and angels, who can appreciate the depth of someone's love for him and at once understand that his beloved ought to be dead, no longer of this world. The women in Will Graham's life appeal more to his grey nature. Alana who understands Will, then even falls in love with the same man as him. Margot who finds direction from Hannibal and then is able to find what she needs in Will. Chiyoh, Abigail, Bedelia . . . Somehow, female characters always straddled the gap between the polar opposites in the series while retaining their own direction and narrative which, sadly, few male characters have managed to accomplish. Don't hold onto too fondly to the idea of Jack and Will, because it never, ever ends well.
oops john mulaney gif, never forget
1/2
—And to be sure, that's not a great thing, in terms of them being able to understand one another. Like Jack, Amaranth can be absolutely unbending in pursuit of the Greater Good—and, particularly if she respects someone as an equal, she expects them to be just as no-holds-barred committed to the cause as she is. "I will lay down my life in this kissing game for my unit or so help me—" is kind of a mini version of that intensity.
However, if there's one thing that might be their relationship's salvation, it's that, unlike Jack, Amaranth wants to be vulnerable around the people she trusts. It's just that it has been hard for her to find people who feel appropriate to open up to—and, for at least a little while, she has taken John off that list.
There's also the fact that she is (eventually; g-d I hate writing OC memories) going to start getting more specific memories about how she grew to be disillusioned with war—and that gradual tilt towards (comparative) pacifism is something that I suspect will narrow the gap between her and John.
That said, while Amaranth is perceptive enough to realize when John is wearing a mask, one thing she really struggles with is realizing when he's actually taking it off. (I believe you've noticed this as well.) Maybe it's an understanding that will continue to develop with time; maybe it's something she'll actually need to be specifically told. ("Stop looking for the 'real me,' idiot; I'm right here.")
In lieu of a John Mulaney gif, this time I raise you a collection of Amaranth + John CR visuals, because in my heart of hearts I'm pinterest trash, and I started collecting these as a way of processing my thoughts on their CR, so... here you go!
#aesthetic